The God of Stupidity

Bubba was anxiously waiting for his first assignment.
He had completed God School, and was waiting for the Boss God to show up.

Suddenly a bright light beamed from overhead and he could hear the Boss God’s voice speaking to him, and only to him. It was such an honor that he was dismayed that he hadn’t dressed better for this meeting.

“Bubba”, the Boss God said, “We have a special assignment for you.”

“Anything Boss!!” replied Bubba.

The voice continued, “I’m glad you put it that way Bubba. Your first assignment is as the God of Stupidity.”

“Ummm… the God of stupidity? I’m supposed to go around making people stupid?”

“No, people do enough of that all by themselves. Your job is to try and keep stupid people from hurting themselves and others.”

Bubba looked down at the ground and kicked the dirt a couple of times, then looked up and asked “How will I know when I’m needed?”

“You will know”, replied the light, “Certain phrases will summon you, and you will find yourself on the scene.”

“What kind of phrases?” he asked.

But then he heard a voice in his ear say “Hey Betty! Hold my beer and watch this shit!!”.

He found himself standing behind a drunk man in cut off shorts and a ragged shirt. He was wearing some old flip flops (on the wrong feet), and was running erraticaly towards a rope hanging over a creek filled with alligators.